Onward Through the Blog
My first blog was on MySpace, its inception sparked by the growing awareness that at eight years sober I’d yet to open up in any authentically intimate way with my newish social circle. When a mentor pointed this out to me—that I was setting myself up to spend the rest of my life alone—I went home and gave it a good think. I had tried my best to be less guarded in person yet made only infinitesimal progress. I needed a backdoor, I theorized, had I any hope of expressing the emotional vulnerability required to form lasting, genuine friendships. I was not yet strong enough to do it in person. So where do my strengths lay? I wondered. Well, I’m not a bad writer, so… maybe there’s a way to “write” myself open!
Bam, a blog was born.
At first I posted a few short musings on life, two poems I’d (startlingly) managed to get published, and an anecdote or two on my previously undisclosed, drug-fueled, rock-and-roll past life. The response was stunning. People I’d socialized with for years said they were getting to know me for the very first time. And they liked this person…her humor, intellect, quirks, flaws, and capacity for outrageous antics. Even my snark went over pretty well (okay some of it did) so all in all, my first blog was a powerfully validating experience.
I’ve been blogging ever since.
I eventually left MySpace and started up on LiveJournal in 2006. That new blog focused on stripping, hot yoga, and a blossoming romantic relationship—my first in twelve years (since the one I wrote about in ROCK MONSTER). Those topics comprised my life at that time and required as much strength and flexibility as I could muster. The latter was something I had in spades, the former, something I was still accruing (in a trial by fire sort of way). My LJ blog became an exploration on that theme—250 posts on a four-year quest for this metaphorical strength/flexibility balancing act. One day, a cyber bully threatened to use select bits of it out of context to disparage and smear me. I promptly deleted the entire thing, and started an anonymous blog of shorter, less personal stories, that I wrote throughout my 40s.
And now…this.
A newish, not-at-all-private blog where I’ll post about my writing, rock-&-roll past, and issues of addiction & recovery, and the other about my work as an intimacy coach & Surrogate Partner.
